Blog 4 - Dear John

Dear Juan,
Happy new year! I'm leaving you. With you over yonder defending freedom in a glorious war against the Panamanians, I have been stranded here, alone, with only the Nicaraguan summer to comfort me. I know that you left only 2 months ago, but I can't stand your absence. Every cricket I hear has your voice in it. All I've done these past months is worry about you, about whether you're alive, or if your doing well. I can't do it any more.
In truth we weren't made for each other, you know that, me being a nun and all. I knew that it wouldn't work. Juan, you always yelled so loud about the littlest things, and I don't miss that. Juan, you always used the Lord's name in vain, and I don't miss that either. You have such a temper that you probably haven't made it this far into the letter because you've already ripped it up. Juan, I don't want to hurt you, but it wouldn't work even if you were here with me. As hard as I try, I can't understand your lifestyle, and God knows you can't understand mine. We're through because you always flip the table over when you get mad, because you call the convent a dump, and because I met a nice man named Ricardo who treats me right. Godspeed Juan, I'll never forget you.
Con Amor De, Maria

Blog 3 - Option B

An Early Fall

The plum trees extended their tired, thirsty branches towards the skies with their last morsels of energy remaining. They had been starved of nutrients over the past days. It had been cloudy numerous times, but no rain had fallen. They cried out with their purple flowers that were slowly succumbing to the ghastly yellow of the ground. The noble leaves, refusing to be biological peons, even in their last days turned golden, not yellow, golden. Golden was much nicer, more befitting.
The birds and foxes under the trees, seeking refuge from the heat and famine resented their situation. They eyed the dying grasses with contempt. "It's your fault! Why couldn't you just grow?" Their expressions showed their fury at the ground. They were more naive than the regal plum trees. The trees whose infinite years showered them with aloof wisdom knew that they were dying, but the animals refused to understand what mother nature had allowed. Tough love indeed... Like a child who doesn't understand why their knee hurts after falling the birds cried. The foxes, stubborn pubescent and full of angst, wallowed in self pity.
Watching the seen from a slight distance Alvin couldn't help but frown. He would be laughing like hell, if his own feelings didn't mimic the trees' and animals'. He too was suffering. His belly was shriveling from existence. His light-tan skin was caked in dirt and the humidity catalyzed an amazing sweat. He was on the hill across from the pasture. His niece, 17 years younger than himself, was anxious to continue picking the wrinkled, brownish tomatoes. They too we shriveling. She smiled at him, too used to hunger to know better.
He surveyed the field stopping to watch the plum trees. He focused on the tallest and oldest tree, apparently planted by a dead great-great grandfather. Tracing up the slanting trunk towards the branches he saw the cooling wind take off the first leaf of the tree. It fell serenely to the ground, large, silky, and an elegant, aristocratic shade of fading purple. He was overcome with awe.
He should have been upset. With trees dying early, his family too, or at least his frail skeleton of a grandfather, or his niece Foliage, still tugging on his pants, would die. It would have upset him, watching his future fall with the leaf, except -
"It's so damn beautiful," Alvin professed from his chapped lips, almost in a whisper. "It's like out of a movie."

Blog Deux - My Soundtrack

My Life Soundtrack
Time - Pink Floyd -
This soothing ditty is not only a great alarm clock and wake up but seems to truly illustrate how mundane each weekday becomes with increasing severity as the school day continues. It perfectly describes the way we are pushed through life.
Zoloft - Ween -
"Give me that Z-O-L-O-F-T" is a great motto for the morning while I sit through that terrible creative writing course taught by that stupid Iowan Hogan... Honestly though, there are certainly those times during the day when I want to be "no longer pissed/you don't bother me"
Rak Po - Hadag Nachash -
Literally in English meaning "Only Here." This upbeat funky groove from one of Israel's premiere bands highlights how Israel is unique, depressing yet home. As a self professed adamant Zionist and former Israeli semi-citizen I recognize much of the song matter. It rings surprisingly true for my feelings about the Twin Cities as well. It would be a great background track for the part of my movie where I'm rolling around with my friends at night in Minneapolis or Hopkins.
Shove This Jay-Oh-Bee - Canibus + Biz Markie -
Biz Markie never fails to provide attitude as this song does. In my movie it would be played at 6 o'clock when I get off of work with the bratty kids at the Jewish Day School. "[They] can S-H-O-V-E that J-O-B" as the song harks.
Guns and Cigarettes - Atmosphere -
Atmosphere raps about his large ambitions. I share large ambitions, while many are different, but the chorus, "I wanna be bigger than Jesus, bigger than wrestling/ Bigger than the Beatles and bigger than breast implants," is a creative way to sum up where I see myself in 5-15 years.
What? - A Tribe Called Quest -
"What?" is a very awkwardly laid out musically, but recently I've been addicted to it. It has many memorable questions i.e. What's a poet all balls no c[l]ock. It preaches to my inquisitive nature and could highlight my nasty side, I think.
Uncle Sam Goddamn - Brother Ali -
Brother Ali is very rebellious and questions the motives of American culture and government. I too have many doubts and questions about our future and while they aren't as extreme as Brother Ali's, they are not always pleasantly worded. This song would show up in the movie at the part when I'm talking back to a teacher or authority figure. It happens.
Mah Na'aseh? - Hadag Nachash -
Mah Na'aseh is an Israeli song/rap by Hadag Nachash with a cult like following. It highlights the issues with youth culture and particularly drugs. A life goal I have is to improve the world and while I think that our youth culture is not evil, we do need to change ourselves a bit to be more conscious of what's going on.
Rainbow - G. Love & Special Sauce -
This song is so damn nice. I listen to it whenever I'm on airplanes for a good reason. Imagine everything the airport resembles. The stuffy, rude, impersonal bureaucracy. This song is exactly the opposite. A nice refreshing song for lunch, or a happy upturn.
Kick Out The Jams - MC5 -
Sometimes I just wanna "Kick out the Jams Mutherf*****"... Pretty self explanitory, I hope.
We Are Not Going To Make It - Presidents Of The United States Of America -
This song would be perfect for after tests at school, or after a band practice sometimes. It's a cute song whose title says it all.
A Wolf At The Door - Radiohead -
Sometimes I feel like there are people out to get me, or that things are going to cave in. This might be good for when I'm doing homework late at night in a montage scene, or when I take out the garbage. For some reason when I'm taking out the garbage I swear everything outside is slowly crawling towards me...
Creep - Radiohead -
Who doesn't ever feel like an outsider? This song might be perfect for walking into AP Euro, there are a lot of socially awkward kids and while it may serve as there anthem I certainly have daily insecurities.
Proceed - The Roots -
At the end of the day, I shall proceed and continue to rock the mic. This is one of thos confidence booster songs, after a good day in class, a good paper, or just a nice moment with friends... Great for walking away after "serving" someone.
Untitled Track 1 - Sigur Ros -
This song's words have no meaning, however in an online contest someone made up a meaning that was very intricate and nice. (look at the summer 2002 competition http://www.sigur-ros.co.uk/interact/). Summarizes some nice deep thoughts. I think this song works for falling asleep, it works for me, or illustrating some deep thought I may have.
KRS-One - Sublime -
No one, myself included learns more from school than friends. This is a great hang out song.
When The Music's Over - The Doors -
When the Music's over turn out the lights...

Additional poem

What If... #2

As I ride the bus to the edge of town
I try to keep my eyes fixed down
but I cannot help but take a glance
The abnormal in for me romance

And on the bus to the end of the village
boarded a new sight for my eyes to pillage
A younger man who meant no harm
He had been born without an arm

I couldn't help but gawk in secret
a string of short lived tries to peek it
I wondered how life would be different
missing five important digits

He'd never once play Halo 2
He couldn't put on pants or tie his shoe
Even a clock needs 2 hands for most times but noon
he'd have no "awkward arm" when he'd spoon

And then the thought occurred to me
How god-damned lucky I must be
I have health and wealth and I've been to the zoo
What if I only had one arm too?

Blog 1.5, Tempest Temptress

We could have been content, alone
In our two person world
I could have called you "mine, my own"
Like a sculpture not a - woman

It's not my fault we are apart
You live so far Away
And your friends said what you thought at heart
But, no matter, here I'll - abide

It's funny though, You never knew
To tell me how you felt
I think for all your sureness you
Were afraid that you might - feel vulnerable

And I won't rhyme on my own accord
Because I am on tilt
Even if I'd sunk in a fjord
You'd still bury me in - trash

But alas on me the blame will rest
Though guilt I truly lack
I pushed away the worst and best
I wish I could take it back

The King Shizznastic

Dearest Ryan,
I thought you should know that I won't be paying to much attention in your class this year- but it's not your fault. I hope you'll forgive me for this transgression, but it's not really my fault either you see. Well, I'll just tell you straight up, so here it goes, no more delays. Here it comes, riiiiiight... now! No, now! Well, it's this kid Noah, Noah Berman, not to emulate 007 too much.

He's just so damn interesting, interesting and mysterious. Fortunately I have this third person letter for you, about him.

Noah emerged from the womb on October 2, 1990. As an infant he was overweight, but not obese, born at 9 lbs. 7 oz. Living in Golden Valley his younger years were those of a typical suburban, American child. He enjoyed toy cars, basketball, and imagination games. His life proceeded, generally uneventful, through a move to Minnetonka at age 5 and through his elementary school experience at a Jewish Day School. Upon further prompting into this seemingly normal post-natal to pre-teen experience, one may find a secret, not so deep, and not so dark. Noah thought that Beenie Babies (tm) were pretty cool. However, while his grandma visiting from Philadelphia - the rest of his extended family is from the East Coast - thought he was simply playing with them he had truly forced them to engage in a battle-royale of death and carnage. The armadillo Beenie Baby (tm) won quite often.

As most children are in the 7th grade Noah was exceedingly awkward, a true social invalid. He had just begun to enjoy music and reading when his world was turbulently turned topsy-turvy. His mother, a Scientist-slave at the University of Minnesota, (before our subject's birth she almost chose the University of Tennessee instead) had her sabbatical year. Instead of simply taking a year off to focus on her awkward teen and uncertain high school graduate children, she decided to take up a temporary fellowship at the Weitzman Institute in Rehovot, Israel. Naturally, she decided to bring her younger son and fortunately for her her eldest was already taking a year off there.

In Israel Noah found a bit of himself, dropped some of his inhibitions, and learned to speak Hebrew well enough to pass his French class even though he didn't know any French and the teacher didn't know any English. This period of his life, if only from January to May, taught Noah independence, which in Israel means staying out late and not letting your parents know where you are, but it's okay, despite the stereotype of the Jewish mother, mother's in the Jewish country don't seem to worry. The impact of his half year abroad was profound and Noah returned feeling, acting, and looking very differently.

After returning from his journeys and jumping back into his normal cycle Noah continued to grow through junior high and ninth and tenth grade at an average pace physically, standing at about 5'11" 155 lbs. He was in the "smart kid classes" for most of his life and continued this path, and learned to play the mandolin, guitar, and bass.

Now Noah sits in his classes and wonders about quirky things. The smallest abnormal inflection from the teacher may trigger a cranial typhoon for him, and no matter the results of this cognitive tsunami, he can't help but laugh. Looking past the long hair and blue eyes he has grown to love Israel and is throughly involved in Young Judaea, a Zionist youth movement. He obsesses with music. You'll usually find him talking, rapping, or singing to himself.

He aspires to one day teach people, maybe children, maybe conventionally, he hasn't thought that far through it. While he hates people who talk even when they don't know what they're talking about and the people who put them in the situation to do so, he would love to educate them. He wants his own family. Eventually. He wants to follow his own path, to stray from the yellow brick road of high school, college, graduate degree, office job, wife and two kids, vacation, retirement, grandchildren, funeral. Maybe he'd rather go to Bangladesh or Ghana, he often says to himself, wondering why the big omnipotent, omnipresent, ominous "they" never considered that.

Like all humans, the subject of this stretched out letter is human. He is an individual, although nothing about him is fully unique and his. He is complicated, but often falls into the same patterns. He wants to be noticed, but does not want to be embarrassed. He laughs when he shouldn't, smiles when he should cry, often feels out of place and wonders about the meaning of life. Noah, if you dig past the letters and pronunciation, N-O-A-H, is, like most, is the fountain from which all errs flow, the epitome of the human story and ethos. He is the most significant thing to himself, yet in perspective, the smallest speck in the universe...